White tights.
There is an unspoken rule that white tights are for school girls and grannies. No one knows whence the rule came, but it whenced it's way into our lives and heads roll when the rule is broken. It's a bloody, and gory scene, let me tell you. Children hide behind their mother's skirts and tweens desperately click away on their mobiles so they can upload to Instagram later. Grown men cower, and old timers are hard pressed to one up the scene. Dark days, my friends. Dark days.
Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating just a little. Maybe.
I thought I could get away with it. I'd wear my orphan Annie dress, my lovely new red shoes that arrived yesterday, and the white tights would be a lovely balance of red and white.
This plan hit a slight snag when I realised that my lovely new red shoes were too big. Guess which dimwit ordered the wrong size? Okay, all is not lost. I can wear my new black Mary Janes. It's not too bad, is it?
The Regional Manager was in today, and she always passes comment on my outfits. If they're not over the top enough, she calls me 'as boring as bat shit'. A lovely dress flounced up with a petticoat isn't enough for her - she wants bright tights and big shoes. She looked at me today and said 'Oh, I don't like those white tights.'. I responded with 'Well, to be fair I was originally wearing red shoes but had to take them off as they were too big. It looked much better with the red shoes.'. She shook her head and said 'Oooh, I doubt that.'
I went to the nurses for their opinions, and it turns out that that it was pretty universal. White tights look too much like surgical stockings to be taken seriously. My bold decision back fired and slapped me in the face with a dead fish. Lessons have been learned today, my friends.
On a completely unrelated note, I have a lovely pair of US size 9 red shoes, never worn for sale for $50!
You know you want to!
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